Why ADHDers benefit from temporary planning systems
In defense of the ADHD planner graveyard
Quick note: I’m currently paused on taking new ADHD coaching clients while I write my book (!!), but you can sign up for the waitlist here to get first access to slots once they open up <3
Nearly every single ADHDer I know has a graveyard of abandoned planners.
These planners lurk in shadowy corners and underneath various doompiles, hissing shame shame shame, you never stick to things!!! when we glance their way.
But each time we buy a new one we think: This is The One. This is the planner that will finally help me organize my entire life, reach all my goals, and stop feeling like a constant problem to solve.
If you’re anything like me, then it’s all very exciting. You’re lit up by optimism when you discover the Next Perfect Planner.
If it’s an analog system (which my ADHD coaching clients overwhelmingly prefer), then you enjoy picking out the right cover and pairing it with new colorful pens and highlighters, maybe even some stickers—because one thing about ADHDers, when we’re starting a new initiative, we need all the colors. It is ADHD law.
Or maybe you’re more of a digital planner person and you just discovered something like Notion and its endless possibilities, so you pour hours into reviewing and setting up templates to create the perfect custom system for your unique brain. Surely, this can’t fail!!
And yet, inevitably, the planner loses its luster and you haven’t looked at it in who knows how long. Then it joins the others in the graveyard, where it rots with the rest of your best intentions.
This can make us feel hopeless and inadequate. If we can’t even keep up with a planner, how in the ever-living-hell are we supposed to keep up with the endless demands of working, living, and caretaking??
Why this happens
Setting up a new planner often brings immediate relief. It turns the vague, abstract swirling mess that life feels like with ADHD into something concrete and contained, helping us imagine a better version of ourselves and our lives.
We get to design the system, organize the pages, customize the layout, and feel the satisfying click of believing we have finally created a container big enough to hold us. It all feels very rewarding!
But then we start to lose our grip on it.
In many cases, it’s because the planner starts asking too much of the exact executive functions we bought it to support.
First, we have to remember to open it while life is tornado-ing around us. That alone is a huge ask.
Then we have to add things to it, which is fun at first because it’s novel and satisfying. But over time, it starts to feel like just another piece of life admin to keep up with.
And sometimes it feels like the worst kind of life admin because the planner holds all the things we’ve been struggling to do. And without the motivating buoy of novelty, those things feel too heavy being held in one place, especially to an emotionally taxed ADHD brain, so the planner develops a repellent charge around it.
Or sometimes, a very elaborate planner and its infinite fields seems like a perfect solution in theory, helping us track everything from our water intake to our to-dos. But in practice, we find the complexity too cumbersome to maintain. So many fields, so many things to decide and keep track of. It’s overwhelming and hard for a brain with executive dysfunction to keep up with every single day.
This is one reason I generally recommend simple rather than elaborate planners for ADHDers. Fewer fields are easier to keep up with each day.
Lastly, we might drop a planner because we tend to pick them up when we need them most. When life is feeling particularly chaotic and we’re struggling to see clearly. During those times, the planner can feel really grounding and supportive.
But once we find our footing again, the planner doesn’t feel as necessary. Instead, it just sort of gets in our way, creating friction when we’re trying to flow.
So what are we supposed to do??????
Good news! I actually have the perfect planner that solves all of these problems. Buy it now for the low, low price of $99.99 and your life will be TRANSFORMED.
Just kidding. I have no such thing because no such thing exists. Lol imagine if this whole post was designed to sell you a planner.
But what I can offer is a different way of thinking about and approaching planners that has helped me, personally.
After trying and failing to stick to 18912742918 planners, I’ve realized that sticking to them at all costs cannot and should not be my goal for the reasons I mentioned above.
So now I view new planners as temporary systems I use to get back on track during times when I feel particularly untethered.
I let myself get lit up by the new thing and let it support me for as long as it can.
But once I feel back on track and/or the planner just starts feeling like another obstacle in my day, I drop it and revert back to my other “system”: Texting myself reminders and dumping things in my Notes app because this is extremely easy for me, and some seasons I need planning to be easy rather than structured.
But over time, these quick-and-dirty systems start to feel too chaotic again, so I feel untethered again, so I need more structure again!
Then I’ll pick up or revisit another system and use it until I feel tethered again.
ADHDers ebb and flow by design. We’re not meant to be machines with perfect daily consistency because our brains are highly context-dependent. So what feels supportive changes depending on what kind of pressure we’re under, how much novelty we need, how much structure we can tolerate, and what the current season is asking of us.
Fully accepting and embracing the fact that my planner needs ebb and flow just like my brain has made planners so much more supportive because I can take what I need from them, then put them down when they stop serving me without burying myself in shame.
And when we don’t shame ourselves for not sticking to something with perfect consistency it feels easier to reach for it again when we need it. But if we berate ourselves for dropping yet another planner, then when we want to reach for one again, our brain gremlin hisses that it’s pointless, making us feel like it’s better to drown than use a temporary system as a buoy.
Basically, the nicer we are to ourselves about our natural ways of doing things, the easier it is to reach for supports when we need ‘em because we’re not frozen by shame for doing it the “wrong” way.
So if you’re feeling untethered and could use the support of a planner, I’m begging you to give yourself permission to view it as a temporary support to lean on rather than a permanent test of your commitment.
A few planners I’ve used and liked over the years
I often use Notion to capture and plan bigger projects and goals, while Todoist is my go-to for daily stuff. That said, I drop both of them all the time, and I try new ones, and I go back to the old ones again. And, again, the gentler I am with myself about that, the easier it is to reach back out for their support when I need it.
Here are some that I’ve personally used and liked:
Digital
Analog
The Anti-Planner: How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don’t Feel Like It ← specifically designed for ADHDers
What about you? I’m always exploring new planners and systems for both myself and my clients, so if you have any recommendations, I’d love it if you shared them here!
My new favorite thing to do is buy a visually-appealing Excel or Google sheet template from Etsy. When I inevitably abandon it after a few weeks, I still feel good about having purchased from a small business.
I use old envelopes! Cheaper than notebooks and allows freeform setup. Best of all I can bin then and start again with no guilt. 😏